Bad days.

Everyone has them. They are unavoidable and even though we know what they are the minute they happen it doesn't stop the feeling of unhappiness. However, it never fails that the bad feelings turn back to good again... with time.

I absolutely have those bad days. I had one last Wednesday right after I got home from work. It was a long day and I started to feel bloated and gross that afternoon. When I got home I stupidly stepped on the scale because I was looking for motivation to go and do a double workout but that backfired on me immediately. I was 5lbs heavier than I was two days before which I knew was absolute shit because I did a double on Monday and my eating has been on point. I KNEW that it was water weight as my boobs felt like they were going to pop and my stomach would have looked cute in a Santa suit but that didn't stop my mind from exploding. I instantly wanted to cry and I got so frustrated. I get in this mindset sometimes where I get frustrated at the fact that I have to work so hard to lose weight. I do doubles now - two hours of working out multiple times a week usually and I don't eat carbs - I think I should be losing weight faster! I get so angry and jealous when I see people losing 30lbs in 2 months, hell even people that can lose 10lbs a month. WHY can't I do that? My body is changing and I'm losing weight which I am thankful for but 6lbs a month is slow as hell in my world. Yes, I know I'm doing it the "right way" and I'm going to "keep it off by doing this" etc. etc. I know you're right but I've still got such a long way to go and sometimes you just get worn out. I wouldn't have gone to my workout at all that night but my kickboxing family had planned a dinner after class for my going away party and I wasn't going to cancel on them. So, instead of crying in my room alone, felling sorry for myself I went to class to work it out with my friends.

Once I got to the gym I was talking to Shelia and letting her know that I felt like a walking water bed filled with self pity and she told me to shut the hell up and go earn my dinner. When she tells you to do something you do it or she just starts yelling it louder so, off I went to class. Then I walked in to see this for the WOD:

I saw 100 Jumping Jacks and I seriously panicked. We have to do the warm up three times in a row and then you move onto the workout. 300 JUMPING JACKS?!!? I have NEVER in my life done 300 jumping jacks at one time. Chad and I started doing jumping jacks a year ago when we went to LA Fitness and I would have to stop every 25 jumps. Once I made it to a 100 I was dying. Now, I do jumping jacks in kickboxing all the time but like 25 at a time not 300! I told myself I'll just do as many as I can and if I'm slowing the entire class up I'll just lie and not do 100 and say that I did. Well, turns out I didn't need to be worried at all. I did a 100 jumping jacks in less than two minutes! I wasn't even winded! I didn't even have to stop! I blew my own mind because I REMEMBER that feeling the last time I did them and it wasn't like that anymore. I was so happy the rest of the workout and it was amazing. I went from beyond depressed and upset to blown away with happiness.

I want to say "who cares" about the number on the scale but the truth is I still do but I also care about those non-scale victories that in the long run probably mean more. As I laid on the ground surrounded by people that all share a common drive to push themselves to be their best and watching steam come off our heads as we laid there doing an ab burnout, I just felt happy. That's the feeling that I always want. I hate being sad, depressed, and unhappy. I shouldn't let my stupid hormones cloud my common sense and manipulate my emotions but sometimes you can't escape it and it happens. I'm so happy I had that dinner to go to. I'm so happy I have people in my life that push me and help me grow and I'm so happy that I'm stronger than I was a year ago. It's only going to get better because no matter how hard I have to work I won't give up. This is my journey and the bad days will end and the good days will happen. I live for those good days... I wish nothing but good days to everyone struggling. The whole world needs more good days.

Aaaaand then we went to Red Robin and ate all the fries!

JUST KIDDING I had the Royal Burger protein style (no bun) and broccoli with THREE sweet potato fries and they were FANTASTIC. It was such a fun time and I'm going to miss those people so much. They might not even know it but you turned my bad day into a great night!


Here's to the bad days for making us appreciate the good ones.

XOXO