Bad days.

Everyone has them. They are unavoidable and even though we know what they are the minute they happen it doesn't stop the feeling of unhappiness. However, it never fails that the bad feelings turn back to good again... with time.

I absolutely have those bad days. I had one last Wednesday right after I got home from work. It was a long day and I started to feel bloated and gross that afternoon. When I got home I stupidly stepped on the scale because I was looking for motivation to go and do a double workout but that backfired on me immediately. I was 5lbs heavier than I was two days before which I knew was absolute shit because I did a double on Monday and my eating has been on point. I KNEW that it was water weight as my boobs felt like they were going to pop and my stomach would have looked cute in a Santa suit but that didn't stop my mind from exploding. I instantly wanted to cry and I got so frustrated. I get in this mindset sometimes where I get frustrated at the fact that I have to work so hard to lose weight. I do doubles now - two hours of working out multiple times a week usually and I don't eat carbs - I think I should be losing weight faster! I get so angry and jealous when I see people losing 30lbs in 2 months, hell even people that can lose 10lbs a month. WHY can't I do that? My body is changing and I'm losing weight which I am thankful for but 6lbs a month is slow as hell in my world. Yes, I know I'm doing it the "right way" and I'm going to "keep it off by doing this" etc. etc. I know you're right but I've still got such a long way to go and sometimes you just get worn out. I wouldn't have gone to my workout at all that night but my kickboxing family had planned a dinner after class for my going away party and I wasn't going to cancel on them. So, instead of crying in my room alone, felling sorry for myself I went to class to work it out with my friends.

Once I got to the gym I was talking to Shelia and letting her know that I felt like a walking water bed filled with self pity and she told me to shut the hell up and go earn my dinner. When she tells you to do something you do it or she just starts yelling it louder so, off I went to class. Then I walked in to see this for the WOD:

I saw 100 Jumping Jacks and I seriously panicked. We have to do the warm up three times in a row and then you move onto the workout. 300 JUMPING JACKS?!!? I have NEVER in my life done 300 jumping jacks at one time. Chad and I started doing jumping jacks a year ago when we went to LA Fitness and I would have to stop every 25 jumps. Once I made it to a 100 I was dying. Now, I do jumping jacks in kickboxing all the time but like 25 at a time not 300! I told myself I'll just do as many as I can and if I'm slowing the entire class up I'll just lie and not do 100 and say that I did. Well, turns out I didn't need to be worried at all. I did a 100 jumping jacks in less than two minutes! I wasn't even winded! I didn't even have to stop! I blew my own mind because I REMEMBER that feeling the last time I did them and it wasn't like that anymore. I was so happy the rest of the workout and it was amazing. I went from beyond depressed and upset to blown away with happiness.

I want to say "who cares" about the number on the scale but the truth is I still do but I also care about those non-scale victories that in the long run probably mean more. As I laid on the ground surrounded by people that all share a common drive to push themselves to be their best and watching steam come off our heads as we laid there doing an ab burnout, I just felt happy. That's the feeling that I always want. I hate being sad, depressed, and unhappy. I shouldn't let my stupid hormones cloud my common sense and manipulate my emotions but sometimes you can't escape it and it happens. I'm so happy I had that dinner to go to. I'm so happy I have people in my life that push me and help me grow and I'm so happy that I'm stronger than I was a year ago. It's only going to get better because no matter how hard I have to work I won't give up. This is my journey and the bad days will end and the good days will happen. I live for those good days... I wish nothing but good days to everyone struggling. The whole world needs more good days.

Aaaaand then we went to Red Robin and ate all the fries!

JUST KIDDING I had the Royal Burger protein style (no bun) and broccoli with THREE sweet potato fries and they were FANTASTIC. It was such a fun time and I'm going to miss those people so much. They might not even know it but you turned my bad day into a great night!


Here's to the bad days for making us appreciate the good ones.

XOXO

I Love Kickboxing

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Lets play catch up on my workouts-

I've tried a lot of different workout classes over the last few years but the one that has actually changed my life is Kickboxing. Let me back up and explain how I got to this point for anyone who feels like they don't know where to start when it comes to working out. I say this a lot but if I can get out there and do it anyone can. I had a lot of small accomplishments in order to get to this point because I'm going to be pretty blunt and own up to the fact that I'm REALLY focused right now. Pretty much my entire life is about getting healthy and in shape and the rest of my life will probably have to be this way in order for me to stay in shape once I get there. That used to upset me but then I put my big girl panties on and realized, this is my struggle. My "thing" in life that I have to deal with and I'm okay with that because I think everyone should be concerned about their body. It took awhile but I finally get that WE ONLY GET ONE in this life. I'm now obsessed with taking better care of it and I guess now that means I'm the girl at the party that tells you how sore I am. Whoops.

Okay, so back to the small accomplishments... I've been trying to get back in shape for the last two years. The first thing I did was learn how to eat salads. Yes, I know that sounds stupid but I didn't like to eat them. Now, I eat them and surprisingly, I like them. That was over a year and half ago. Then I gave up drinking soda - like all soda, diet included after reading a few horrifying articles about what they do to your body. (dare you to Google it)  It's been over a year now and I don't miss it at all. Next, I started trying out different gym classes; I found yoga and body works at my local LA Fitness and I went regularly for almost 2 months until teachers changed and I lost interest. However, that helped me realized that I could keep to a schedule. I could be committed, which was a pretty new thing to me at the time. I've always started to try and get in shape then I would stop. I recently realized I can't ever stop -- If you never stop, then you'll never fail or so some bumper sticker I read once said.

(Apparently Albert Einstein said it!)

After that realization I got a few workout apps for my phone and started doing 30 Day challenges at the beginning of this year. I completed several months of these and it just kept building my confidence. Even though I STILL wasn't losing much weight I was doing a lot of work and prepping myself for the next phase. In May, my friend Terra told me about a kickboxing class she tried. She said it was miserable and seemed like something I would love. I was immediately interested (I GET TO HIT THINGS!) and talked to Chad about it to see if he would do it with me for 10 classes that I was going to get with a Groupon. He was as always fully supportive and off we went to our first classes before our cruise to Alaska. (May 2014) We were immediately hooked. The first class had me questioning my sanity and I had never felt that sore in my life but at the same time it was incredibly fun. I learned how to properly hit someone in the face and we quickly blew through our 10 classes within a month. I decided I had to join. Chads schedule didn't work well with the class times so sadly I joined alone but now 6 months later I am happily 36lbs lighter and a whole lot stronger.

Fat face be gone! 

Keep in mind I also started doing a low carb diet in June which is a HUGE part of the pounds I have lost. I will post about my diet soon but always remember it is 80% diet & 20% exercise. I used to get so angry with myself for working out as much as I did but never being able to lose weight. It's because my diet was crap... I mean I can work out for an hour and still eat 4,000 calories a day RIGHT?!!? No.  

Lets get back to kickboxing... Classes are CRAZY! The first 15 mins are running around doing push ups, crunches, planks, squats, lunges, burpees, you name it in bursts of time. Then you get a water break, then you get to stretch, and THEN they let you hit things! I love the bag rounds. It's 6 different rounds of punches and kicks with the 6th round being a SPEED round where they threaten you with burpees if you stop doing what your doing at any moment during the final 60 seconds. Oh, and they punish the whole class if one person takes a break so it happens on occasion. Damn newbs. Just kidding - everyone is super supportive in and out of class and I have to admit moving away from this gym is really hard. So many of these people inspire me and it's so nice to have a group of people that are just as motivated about being in shape as you are. A part of me wonders if I can push myself on my own the rest of the way but then I know... I can and I will.

The Thanksgiving morning class was packed. 

What I like/will miss most about this gym is the people. The trainers and members are fantastic. I feel like I have this second family who is just as interested in kickboxing/fitness as I am. These new friends who you do all these intense things with and who you see a few times a week. I know it sounds crazy but these people have become a part of my every day life for the last 6 months and I've learned so much from each of them. Kickboxing has made me really happy and I think that's important for anyone looking for motivation - you have to find somewhere that makes you happy and that makes you want to work harder. Each time I go to class I know that they are going to push me... they know when I'm not hitting as hard as I can because I'm being lazy and they will yell at me "HARDER" in a heartbeat. It's become a tradition to laugh and say, "Oh that was too easy" at the end of class when in reality I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to steer my car when I drive home.

We all stalk each other on Facebook too. At first, I thought I was the only creeper but then the meanest of all the teachers started stalking me and I love it. Shelia, who just won 2nd place Best Fitness Instructor in Western Washington is the toughest instructor I've ever had. She is fantastic at scaring the crap out of people in all the right ways. (Not actual crap on the floor... although... it's possible) She's also the most down to Earth person I have met in a really long time. She is in amazing shape but she constantly works to be better while encouraging everyone around her to do the same. By encouraging I mean giving her signature "f*cking do it" face. She has competed in two fitness competitions since I have known her and watching her journey has been inspiring and hilarious. I didn't know the bitch cheated! She told me that one day and I was like, "Whattttttttt I thought you were perfect?!" I love the realness. Hopefully, she doesn't mind me blogging about her and if she does I probably have a bunch of burpees in my future.

(source)

Seriously though, she is awesome and has inspired me so much! I refuse to get sappy and type all the disgustingly mushy things on here but, thank you. When I joined up you said, "Girl, do you know what I can do to you in six months!?" and I was so excited to find out. Thank you for pushing me get to where I am today and giving me to the tools to know how to get the rest of the way on my own. I'm not sure what got you into fitness but you have helped me realize how strong I am and I am forever grateful for that.

Kickboxing has been amazing and I plan to get a bag and continue even after the move. It won't be the same but I've got enough commitment and know how to keep pushing. I've also got about ten friends on Facebook now that will harass my ass if I don't!

What workouts inspire you?